I'm so bored by the idea that thinness = hotness/fashion/sex. For the love of god. Is anyone else bored?
I'm also tired of queers pretending like sizeism doesn't infect our "community," like queers don't participate in judging each other's bodies, falling for traditional beauty standards.
I'm tired of pretending that it doesn't affect me. I'm tired of how sizeism makes all of these wonderful people around me wish their bodies looked differently, how it's okay for women much smaller than me to talk about (right in front of my sweet, fat ass!) how they want to lose weight, how they feel fat, how they shouldn't be eating whatever cupcake or french fry is currently in their hand. It's thoughtless, mind-numbing, and just really sad. There are so many important things to care about, to love, to be excited for. And there are bigger things to be upset about.
I know it's really complicated. I know we all breathe in this same stupid air, and body image is super hard and intense to unravel. The messages become a part of us, we internalize them and we all struggle with that.
But when I was a wee junior high chubster, tormented by my peers and desperately longing for a thin body, crying and trying not to eat, my mom stood me in front of the bathroom mirror and said, "Erin. This is your body. I wish you saw what I saw, which is my beautiful, amazing, wonderful daughter. You will probably never be skinny. And there will probably always be people who are mean about it. But you only get one body, one life. You can choose to love or hate yourself. It would be such a waste to hate yourself." Seriously. My mom rules. I wish everyone's mom could say that to them.
I've worked pretty hard to love what I've got. I'm tired of waiting for the world to catch up.
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